thefauxartist

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Review: Austenland

Needless to say, when I first watched the trailer for Austenland as recommended to me by a friend of mine, I erupted into fits of excited giggles. The concept was such an accurate satire of a fangirl’s life. Enter Jane, your stereotypical Jane Austen fangirl who dreams of meeting Mr. Darcy to whisk her off into a happily ever after (frankly, I don’t quite understand this infatuation with the stoic Mr. Darcy). She goes off to spend all her savings on a regency-themed vacation, hoping to experience for herself, the ardent affections of a certain Mr. Darcy. Now, although I’m not much too keen on Austen’s works, I personally would love to stay in such a place too. When asked about why she is still single, Jane (rightly) proclaims: the reason why I’m single is because all the good men are fictional.

You can now certainly see the appeal of this movie to me. Nuff’ said.

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So, what of it, then?
Only much disappointment, I’m afraid. The trailer promised many hilarious yet witty parallels with the true life of a fangirl; however, the movie’s true offerings fell short. Cringe-worthy acting and slapstick comedy aside, the characters are nothing to shout about. Jane’s character development is messy; she starts out as an idealist, but is quickly disillusioned by the pretense of the Wattlesbrook estate. Mrs. Wattlesbrook is a discriminating dictator who has no qualms about customer service as she attempts to banish Jane away from the estate. This is all based upon finding a mobile phone in Jane’s chambers. Yet, she hires an inappropriate porn star-ish ruffian to play the part of a West Indies captain. Perhaps I’m over-analysing this point – it could be the writer’s intention to parody the eeriness of Victorian landladies.

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Talk about traumatising.

Also, Martin (the Wickham of Austenland) is amazingly douchey. I have no other words to describe how thin and unconvincing his character is in wooing Jane. He alleges that Jane is not like the other girls who were drawn to the perfect fantasy and flips out when Jane plays along with the regency actors. Honestly, I’d think if you were looking for a realist partner, you would not look for her in Austenland, the fangirl haven. [SPOILER] Although it was later revealed that  Martin is one of the Wattlesbrook actors all along, you can’t help but think how shallow Jane must have been to believe all that tosh.

 

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Too close, too soon, Mr. Obvious.  

However, there is one bit of the movie that demands praise in the form of: Henry Nobbly. With features so strikingly similar to Hollywood’s newest heartthrob, Tom Hiddleston, Nobbly is a surefire swoon fest. The aloof-turned-Byronic character was in my opinion, the only believable character in this movie. When he appears to Jane near the resolution of the movie with an explanation, it was actually a valid one, even in today’s modern context. It doesn’t hurt that the coat and collar of his outfit fits perfectly with his appearance.

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I told you so.

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Oh hang on, he looks dashing in modern day outfit too.

Hmm, it seems as though I might veer off into the dangerous marshes of Mr. Darcy Swooning at this rate.
Verdict: 4.7/10 (.7 because it feels just right)

 


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Review: Teen Wolf 3×22 – I don’t know what to do with myself???!!!

After much fist clenching and heart palpitations on my behalf, the latest Teen Wolf episode ended with yet another cliffhanger (good job, MTV – my fangirl heart can totally take it). The nogitsune story arc is still going strong, which is a relief ever since it dipped to a terrible low with the Echo House episode (but more on that later, perhaps). At this point, I’m pretty much sick with myself exclaiming “omg dylan o brien is such a good actor omg”, or “omg teen wolf you dont just do this to me”. But enough of this incoherent babbling – let me take you through a play-by-play of the episode according to yours truly:

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Okay, so it started off with pretty bad dialogue. But at least it gets better.

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This moob-grabbing’s for the Sterek shipppers. I don’t think they’ll become canon anytime soon at this rate. Not that I ship them.

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BAM – what did I say about it getting better?!

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I really think they need to make a new intro soon. Stiles simply isn’t just the Jeep boy anymore…

 

 

 

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Alright, I’m guilty of bursting into fits of giggles here. A tad cheesy, but I must admit, my sweet-o-meter was beeping (which it rarely does).

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Wellllllllll is that 50 Shades of Grey gone wrong or what

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A+ acting

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Still A+ acting

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100% guilty of cliches. But hey, at least he acknowledges that. #somethingwitty

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Holland Roden deserves an award for being to run in an itsy-bitsy dress and heels. Seriously though.

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Is someone gonna help him pull that out or what but wait what if that’s his guts/tongue omg dont die no

Anddddd that’s a wrap! Excuse me for the obvious decline in effort. This blog post was a lot more awesome/funny envisioned in my head.